Desired Intimacy - only three out of ten Intercourses

Scientist have counted that among married couples 3 in 10 intercourses are really desired. “How is that possible?” young women who have quite vague ideas of life in marriage can ask. Those who have been married for a year (two, three or ten), should admit that undesired intimacy (at the wrong time, when there’s no mood, or just no desire, when novelty wears off) exists. That’s why anecdotes about “headache”, “unceasing” periods and constant tiredness which are evasion from conjugal responsibilities, are passed on from generation to generation. What is going on? Why? And what should we do?

These things can be easily explained. Passion has gone, sex has lost its fascination, and you are not inclined to introduce any novelties, romantic meetings evoking tempestuous flashes of passion  have turned into dull routine. Earlier it was difficult to wait till bed, sex could spontaneously start everywhere: in the car, in the elevator and to end as unpredictably  as it started. And now it has become very plain: evening shower, watching TV before going to bed, soft sheets, comfortable pillows, the same postures,  usual kiss of gratitude and then sleep and you lie back-to-back…

Very often a woman grows cool faster than a man. That’s why anecdotes about women’s “intrigues” concerning headaches are women’s invention. And it can be explained. First of all, women get stuck in a daily routine: children,  snivel, pampers, the need to defrost the refrigerator, to dust, to be in time for work, buy products, to talk to your mother-in law (greeting your teeth), to retell the essence of this conversation to your friend , meditate on life, watch a new film, plant flowers, buy a new skirt, put on make up, make manicure, pedicure, epilation on the line of  bikini...

So we always have a lot to do, and we can get tired of the half of it. Secondly, it’s just laziness, you get used to sex, get bored, well really, what for to get strained if the result is always the same, so once a week is quite enough. Thirdly, how about feelings?

Men continue to demand “dessert” despite decline of their romantic part… Very often they quickly  get used to everything . They can be at variance with us, be cross with us because of trifles, may not notice our heroic efforts concerning the line of bikini, but sex is absolutely a different thing, they can’t substitute it by anything.

A woman is quite ready to do without intimate relations, she is a creative creature, the must to fulfill conjugal responsibilities is repulsive for her and causes unpleasant associations  with the oldest profession.

As a result, we’ve got a husband who wants, and a wife who wants, but not sex , she wants to sleep, she wants a new blouse, she wants her husband to consider her the most beautiful, to kiss her on the neck and massage her.. She is ready to have sex , but on the condition that her desire is provoked by a man. But he is not always ready to provoke as it seems to him that his erection is quite enough and doesn’t understand what else a woman wants. That’s how the period of compromises and sexual adaptation begins …

Permanent partners behave in so many different ways to get what they want. It can be quite peaceful methods  flirtation, romantic evening, candles, as well as quite uncivilized: threats, quarrels, resentments, silent boycotts and,  of course,  blackmail.

Sex in exchange for a new blouse, permission to go for a hen party or not to talk to mother - in law on the phone - from her side. And for example, in exchange for promises to be gallant, romantic, attentive - from his side. It’s a kind of a sex-exchange, and people have intimate relations when one of them doesn’t want it.

Sex instead of boredom, because everybody makes it, because it’s common, newspapers say that it’s good for health, it releases from stress and relaxes. ..It’s another variant of contacts, also widely spread, a kind of compromise.

Sex for the sake of the idea…to prevent your darling from unfaithfulness, from his thoughts about your asexuality,   to make him satisfied due to your own various efforts, to prove that you are the best, to outdo a talkative neighbour who boasted about her special skills.

There can be millions or more reasons, other things are important: mediocre intimate relations become something commonplace and trivial, that’s what is dangerous . You get into a vicious circle: I don’t want to make love but I have to- libido falls- I don’t want intimacy today, but I have to submit. Sex turns into a negative phenomenon, and you start evading it.

What should we do? You can throw stones into me, but I’ll tell you: learn to say “No”. Nobody can force you to make sex if you don’t want to! Take it as a rule, and your life will get much more colorful and bright. And real, genuine feminity, grace and sexuality will awake in you.