The art of Dating or how to be Loved, Treasured and Adored

My memory always reminds me of my mistakes with men…And how many of them I had!!! And how many I will have! There is one thing that I clearly understood: in order to master the art of love towards men and to learn how to evoke love, you should follow one simple rule – not to love them at all. Sounds controversial, but it’s a fact. You may think, how can I brag about my knowledge? But a fretful woman living in me always proves that it’s true, it’s not just a fact, it’s true. And life is life when somebody loves us, the happiest people, very successful in their career, cannot be really happy without love. And isn’t it better when someone loves us? And we should let love only those who deserve it.

Here appears another mistake that I have tried to solve for a long time: How much does a real man cost, and what is real? It sounds different: real man, real brute, real macho, real freak, unreal – we strive after the former, but run into the latter…

It was a kind of introduction, let’s talk about the aim. The aim is a man… When the object is found, you should buy it, can’t a man be bought? The more is the price, the more is the man’s self-esteem, notice - not the quality, so you should carefully carry on the expertise , i.e. to check him on lousiness.

Rule # 1 Talk to him.

Sometimes it’s enough to understand that a man is silly, sometimes it’s enough to understand that a man is so silly that you get shocked: he cannot even listen and answer silly sentences, he just moos like a calf. He is a spoilt stuff. And my dear, it happens not only at 20, but also at the age of 30, 40 and even 50 –and then such specimen moo on their silly poor wives who made a mistake in their past.

Rule #2 Check on cash.

There is no saying about love if he is dog- poor, it’s very important. Invite him to the cafe or the cinema . And watch his reaction.

Reaction  # 1: after the invitation. If he is hiding his eyes and nervously convinces you that the weather is good, then immediately look for different  goods.  This one has got a beautiful package, but is empty inside.

Reaction # 2: you are at the cafe and it’s time to order, if a man asks you what you want, ask him what he wants. If he answers that he is not hungry, it means he is lying! How can a healthy man be not hungry? They are all   troglodytes, if he wants meat and orders it, then you are free to choose what you want, everything’s fine.

The next reaction should be yours, as soon as a man took IT out, his purse, I mean (don’t even think of sleeping with him the same night, you will be unhappy.) So, that’s IT, it’s his purse. Nice , little… little? It’s totally ludicrous! No, fie! Again spoilt goods on the counters, it’s a bad market. Are you so foolish to look for expensive goods on the market, you should go to boutiques, they don’t let spoilt goods in, its  prestige depends upon it. Let’s continue… A purse…Big, topfull, expensive. That’s it! Buy it immediately.    

And what about his bag?  His mobile phone. Memorize its model and run to the shop, you should study all the prices. I assure you, men are like children, it’s important for them to have the best model in everything: the model of mobile phone, of a car …What for do you need a lump? Ask him about his plans. Find out everything, men like to chat (especially about their achievements, imaginary, real, future, it’s important that they‘ve got the aim ).

Rule# 3 / Reaction #4 It’s when he’s got money, but he…is stingy. It’s easy, you get out of the cinema… and you ask so lamentably: ”Do you want to eat?” or “I’m hungry” or “Have you been to this cafe?” The essence is the same, reaction is momentary. I had an admirer, he was German. He taught me this rule…Germans are greedy; you’d better not get involved with them.

Rule #4You know that he suits you. It concerns the speed of his phone call, when he wants to appoint the next date. you can suppose that he’ll call himself and if not (you shouldn’t think about it, it’s impossible as you are so irresistible). So in this case you should call yourself. Yes, quite so, his opinion of you won’t change, and judging from his voice you’ll understand how glad he is.  Call first, pamper him.

Rules #5,6,7.

Oh, I’m blushing …first intimacy… how soon? Is he mediocre, passionate, ingenious, tender? I’m too vulgar to write about it…

And now my dear, let’s talk about the most important thing, the man is chosen ( of course if at  the age of everything spoilt and  trivial you’ll find what you are looking for), you should tame him,  put all dots on “i”, and to take up the role of  a woman giving the permission to love (don’t fall in love yourself, you’ll have time for this) and then act, create!                        

The information that follows is quite familiar, but let’s revise it once more:

Erotic lingerie, low-necked, slit dresses, miniskirts, stockings, one of my friends didn’t wear underwear in summer (don’t do it at the beginning, as he might think that he met a whore) , choose the right timing for caprices, don’t overdo it, use tears only in extraordinary situations. You should learn to be nasty…He invites you for a date, but you can’t go with him today. Stay at home, let him get jealous, then you may mention that you ran across your old friend the other day  or how you chose the same book with your ex, you parted a long time ago but your tastes are still  the same … Enrage him, continue in the same direction but don’t forget to caress him, nobody banned the carrot and stick approach, please him when you are in bed- his favourite postures, massage, sex in unexpected  places (but you mustn’t let him know that all of this is for him, God forbid to let him think that you do it for him).   

Now your dear  is in love, he calls you, gives you flowers, takes you to restaurants, or maybe even to  the shops –all of this depends upon your methods, so he is in love, and now when his real nature becomes apparent, put on glasses, (but not pink) and watch.

Do you need him? No? that’s fine, he is in love, I can advise one thing – ask him to open his purse if you have gone so far. Just spend this money, you deserve it, you have already suffered so much …you checked on him…tamed him… And don’ t relax, look for another, try to find new goods, don’t forget to dust the old, to clean your flat, your soul, sometimes things get so old (morally, physically, or you get so sick and tired of them, women are so unpredictable and fickle). We can throw away one thing and then store others.

I can suppose that you need him… Really? It’s happiness! You found him!!! I don’t believe it, let me have a look at him under the microscope. It’s unbelievable. ..Well, then snatch him, hide him, don’t let him  get lost or anyone steal   him… you know, wife is not a problem…Now your happiness is in your hands.

And in the end:

I cannot but mention one thing: “Beautiful women, my dear, you are the sexiest, the cleverest , the most interesting, the most irresistible and unique, one can’t help falling in love, you are beyond comparison”.

Do you agree with it? Great! So I say good-bye to you , good luck, and then every saved cent  will be collected and spent at the beauty-shop on acryl nails, silky hair, expensive sexy clothes, underwear…oh….expensive underwear…on cruises,  luxurious hotels, spa-resorts (we can continue this list endlessly, it’s important to be a leader in relations “market-goods”).

If you don’t agree with it, read on. There exist two sides of your ego:

internal - it’s based on your self-appraisal, the work on your personality, the need to make a definite mask and to put it on, and never take it off even for the night, in two weeks of training your ego will be normalized.        external - dislike for your own appearance is just a private case of dislike for yourself, but very frequent.

Women, indulge yourselves, give your body pleasure, try to treat it as something the most dear to your heart. Buy delicacies, take it to the fitness center, at least sometimes buy only the best, and understand one simple thing- if it’s not you then who?   And when these two sides are in harmony, you’ll be happy. Be happy, dear women.